A Test(imony)

I must now confess that I find it easy to talk about God and the blessings he has showered on my life when I’m talking with a likeminded audience, and find it difficult when I fear I will be waved off or outright rejected by someone I count among my friends. It is a fear I know I must overcome for what good am I accomplishing trying earnestly to live the Word if the only people I share my faith with are also faithful?

I’m reminded now of the story of the shephard leaving his flock to go find the one lost sheep. I’m ashamed; I turned a blind eye to a lost one and left him in the wilderness.

And as I sat down with the Daily Devotional Bible to write today’s post two passages in Psalms greeted me: “Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth” (26:2-3), and “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me” (27:10).

These passages told me three very important things: It only took me 22 days to have my first failure at what was really a very simple test, there will indeed be more tests, and in order to walk continually in the truth I must be prepared and willing to lose so much more than the company of an old friend.

But also as I sit here writing this I realize I can overcome my failure by refusing the next time to shy aware from sharing my faith with non-believers (including this particular friend), and, I further realize, perhaps losing a friend because of my beliefs will not be the result after all. Why would I think that, me of little faith? I’ve been praying to God to use me, to let me be a tool in His work. Why did I doubt his power? Would he not use me to help find lost sheep? Isn’t that what I’ve invited Him into my life to do? Do I not trust Him?

Of course I trust Him, and of course I believe in His power. Yet I chose to dishonor Him by remaining silent about Him.

I could use a swift kick in the butt.

I also read this in the introduction to Judges in my Bible for Blockheads: “Our success or failure depends on our willingness to faithfully follow the Lord (pg. 84).” I notice it doesn’t say to follow the Lord when it is easy to do so – it says we must follow faithfully to succeed. That can only mean to follow Him all of the time, in easy times as well as in difficult times.

I fear God may not use me if I continue to fail at the very task I asked Him to place before me; therefore, I resolve, I won’t fail at it again. I will not turn away from living in a God pleasing way; I will not pass up the next opportunity to talk with someone, anyone, about God, His love, His mercy, His grace, and His wonderful blessings.

My friends, even though I have already asked you many times to pray for me, I am now asking you yet again. Please pray that I might gain strength and confidence and overcome my fear of talking to someone who doesn’t already know God. Please pray that I pass my next test.

About admin

I am a depraved, morally bankrupt wretched sinner through and through. I’ve attended church sporadically most of my life, haven’t spent a minute in seminary and only recently gave the Bible more than a cursory review. I’ve attended exactly one theology class and I dropped out of that. However, in spite of my moral infidelity, I’ve come to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I’ve learned my salvation isn’t the result of what I do, but rather what Jesus has done on my behalf. I didn’t find the Holy Spirit, He found me. And in our relationship I have invited Him to change me, to use me for His purpose, to conquer my will with His own. Praise the Lord, for even an unworthy, chronic sinner like me can experience and give testimony to His glory!
This entry was posted in Prayer, Testimonies and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Test(imony)

  1. Pingback: A Test(imony) | Gregory E. Lang | michaelspieles.com

  2. Ginny Baker says:

    I’m praying for you, Greg. May our Lord overwhelm you with His peace and His power.

Leave a Reply